Condom Fairy—me, 10yrs ago, handing out free condoms to every man I saw at my first-weekend-of-college festival. Would *you* have used a condom on the Condom F*ggot, Sir?
My ex wife enjoyed having me clean her kitchen so much the other night, she demanded that I finish the rest of the house… in broad daylight… with windows open. Oh. And she took my key 🔐
