Sir, The season for growing crops is upon us, and the villagers do fear the onslaught of pests that devour. Their ceremony to banish foes of foliage lasts a day and into the night. It is farcical, of course, but some aspects of it do have a cultural inte
Sir, My philanthropy is widely known, but today I felt I could go further. With immediate effect I have instigated a penny increase in all female staff wages. Staff merely have to work naked to receive this bonus. (Subject to Lady B___'s absence)
Will patrons of our fine club be on the lookout for the whereabouts of this blaggard. He calls himself a gentleman, but he is a mere greengrocer and he has been seducing my staff. A role that I should have exclusive rights to.
Sirs and Madames, May I thank you most wholeheartedly for your continuing vigilance in reporting the unwanted promotional material that urchins have been leaving here of late. The lazy maids responsible have been punished.
Sir, I out to the furniture emporium, to purchase a chaise longue for Lady B___. Upon its delivery, I am most anxious as to it's comfort. I enlist Maid Ellie to advise me as to it's skin feel. "How do you mean, sir?" she enquires.
Sir, A comely lady of many merits did supply to me by post a photolithograph that I at once believed to have been optically modified with a bubble-nancy lens, as is the fashion of to-day. However, upon meeting said lady, I did discover to my great enjoym
Unfortunately, Lady B___ did not believe my explanation that the artist girl from the village merely wished to avoid soiling her delicate clothes with paint.
Sir, Following an unfortunate encounter with spring and horsehair, Lady B___ instructs me to purchase a new chaise longue with immediate effect. I do take maid Ida to the showroom to assist. "It must not interfere with dress nor skin" I explain. Ida as
Sirs and Madames, I most cordially welcome our new members who have arrived at the door of our club. All are welcome and I trust you will have an enjoyable stay here. I have instructed the maid to put extra coal on the fire for your comfort.
Sir, Upon reading of the modern "Sapphic Love" in a book within my library, I had some maids attempt the embrace as described. I have to say that I concur with Her Majesty Queen Victoria - I cannot imagine this arrangement being very pleasurable. Altho
Sir, Today I had much business work, with many gentlemen to see and little of it to my benefit. This evening I do retire early to my library, where maid Mary brings me Port and I do at last relax with my old books which contain many illustrations that ar
Sir, I have devised a new system which I believe will double the amount of cleaning that any maid may undertake within a individual working day. Tests are ongoing, under my close scrutiny.
