My appointment as Foreign Office Deputy Secretary had hardly been published in the Gazette when I received an offer by this charming lady to take a position in my household. I must say, her references are as scant as her apparel, however I believe I shal
Sir, it most pleases me to share a photolithograph of my maid Rosie. She is most enthusiastic upon the gentlefolk inspecting her particulars. Daily, she is up at 4:30am to light my fire, I can postulate.
Will patrons of our fine club be on the lookout for the whereabouts of this blaggard. He calls himself a gentleman, but he is a mere greengrocer and he has been seducing my staff. A role that I should have exclusive rights to.
Sir, I out to the furniture emporium, to purchase a chaise longue for Lady B___. Upon its delivery, I am most anxious as to it's comfort. I enlist Maid Ellie to advise me as to it's skin feel. "How do you mean, sir?" she enquires.
Unfortunately, Lady B___ did not believe my explanation that the artist girl from the village merely wished to avoid soiling her delicate clothes with paint.
Sir, Today I had much business work, with many gentlemen to see and little of it to my benefit. This evening I do retire early to my library, where maid Mary brings me Port and I do at last relax with my old books which contain many illustrations that ar
Sir, The season for growing crops is upon us, and the villagers do fear the onslaught of pests that devour. Their ceremony to banish foes of foliage lasts a day and into the night. It is farcical, of course, but some aspects of it do have a cultural inte
Sir, Lady B___, suspicious of noises within the servants rooms late at night, do decree no visitors past 7pm. I do worry that the maids will miss the attention and comfort from ~~myself~~ unknown suitors, but upon checking their welfare, I discover the m
Sir, Settling in my library with a glass of brandy, I read a volume purporting to predict the future. Within 150 years, electrical machinery shall revolutionize all manner of daily activity. Studying the illustration brings me great unease. I write to Si
Sirs and Madames, May I thank you most wholeheartedly for your continuing vigilance in reporting the unwanted promotional material that urchins have been leaving here of late. The lazy maids responsible have been punished.
Sir, I recently sent a postal order for 3 guineas to an advertisement in the "personals" section of a gentleman's periodical. "Receive by return post,a photolithograph of a mistress most strict". I may have been hoodwinked.
Sir, A new system for "peer assessment" of staff comes to my attention. I am all for modern progress, but I do sometimes prefer the old ways. Or at least permit me to watch the proceedings.
Maid Elsie tells me she wears a hat that she is unable to remove. "Can your other clothes be removed?" I ask. "Why yes sir", and she demonstrates. "But not your hat?" "No, sir." I suspect she has been at the Laudanum again.
