Sir, Lady B___ do insist on new drapes be fitted in her chamber, to prevent spying eyes from seeing her in a state of undress. I enlist maid Lina to help prove that no part of a naked body is visible through the drapes. This scientific experimentation do
Will patrons of our fine club be on the lookout for the whereabouts of this blaggard. He calls himself a gentleman, but he is a mere greengrocer and he has been seducing my staff. A role that I should have exclusive rights to.
Sir, A new system for "peer assessment" of staff comes to my attention. I am all for modern progress, but I do sometimes prefer the old ways. Or at least permit me to watch the proceedings.
Sirs and Madames, May I thank you most wholeheartedly for your continuing vigilance in reporting the unwanted promotional material that urchins have been leaving here of late. The lazy maids responsible have been punished.
Maid Elsie tells me she wears a hat that she is unable to remove. "Can your other clothes be removed?" I ask. "Why yes sir", and she demonstrates. "But not your hat?" "No, sir." I suspect she has been at the Laudanum again.
Sir, I out to the furniture emporium, to purchase a chaise longue for Lady B___. Upon its delivery, I am most anxious as to it's comfort. I enlist Maid Ellie to advise me as to it's skin feel. "How do you mean, sir?" she enquires.
Sir, Following an unfortunate encounter with spring and horsehair, Lady B___ instructs me to purchase a new chaise longue with immediate effect. I do take maid Ida to the showroom to assist. "It must not interfere with dress nor skin" I explain. Ida as
Sir, a maid had to leave my employ most suddenly, and so I was seeking a speedy replacement. I requested some particulars from the agency, and one candidate had enclosed a photolithograph. Do you know, I think she will be just perfect for the position.
Sir, it most pleases me to share a photolithograph of my maid Rosie. She is most enthusiastic upon the gentlefolk inspecting her particulars. Daily, she is up at 4:30am to light my fire, I can postulate.
Sir, Upon recommendation from Lord Southborough, I did employ the local wise woman to bring good fortune upon my estate. Visiting upon the evening of Beltane, she did perform a mysterious incantation. It is bunkum and hocus-pocus of course, but I did fin
Sir, My philanthropy is widely known, but today I felt I could go further. With immediate effect I have instigated a penny increase in all female staff wages. Staff merely have to work naked to receive this bonus. (Subject to Lady B___'s absence)
Sir, I recently sent a postal order for 3 guineas to an advertisement in the "personals" section of a gentleman's periodical. "Receive by return post,a photolithograph of a mistress most strict". I may have been hoodwinked.
