Went to the doctor as recommended by everyone in this post. Some people wanted an update so for anyone wondering, they are just cysts and harmless. Check your balls guys.
TL;DR - a formerly benign cyst went haywire when my immune system ramped up to fight covid. Had it lanced, then I was allergic to the antibacterial infused bandaids I bought to cover it. I'm in hell.
sorry about the dirty hands, just came from work and this stuff is impossible to get off. But does this blister look infected? 3-4 weeks old from working on car.
Forbidden pop - looks like I came in contact with giant hogweed while clearing the garden (wound dressing to shade from uv and catch fluids when it pops as a learning from the other leg)