Sir, A tiring day admonishing servants for their wanton idleness. I retire to my library with a brandy. Lady B___ dislikes old books, which she insists serve no purpose except the gathering of dust. Yet there is so much to learn from studying the old tex
Sir, a maid had to leave my employ most suddenly, and so I was seeking a speedy replacement. I requested some particulars from the agency, and one candidate had enclosed a photolithograph. Do you know, I think she will be just perfect for the position.
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
On this afternoon's post, I receive this charming, but unsolicited image enclosed with a note: "Fiery Beauties await your interest, reply for further converstion." This seems suspect, however the potential reward seems most agreeable. Shall I proceed?
Sir, to-day I do receive a flyer advertising a special show at the Parisian Club performed by Pierre Acrobatique and his assistants. I cancel tonight's theatre with Lady B___ and hasten to the club. I have always been something of a ballet aficionado.
Sir, In Another Place, a question was raised as to where one might see erotic depictions from the 1600's. I have spent a pleasant evening's research in my library, and can provide this pleasant painting from 1590 of a lady who has much to show us.
Sir, Lady B___ is most pleased with our new maid, who cleans diligently and does not steal nor shirk. I too am most pleased with our new hire. On receipt of an extra shilling, she do work sans vêtements on Fridays whilst Lady B___ is away.
Sir, Gussy Herbert do send me details of a secret Ladies-only club somewhere in Pall Mall. I find this shocking to deny the attendance of Men, especially as the activities therein do appear most fascinating.
Sir, It is said that at this cold time of year when provisions are low, that altruism is a saintly virtue to be rewarded in heaven. However, I offered maid Susan sixpence and a half sack of coal, and I was greatly rewarded that very evening.
Sir, an enquiry. Some few weeks past, I did place an order for medicinal herbs from the Empire by packet post. Having waited the allotted "28 weeks for delivery", all I have received is this postcard which assures that delivery is imminent. Have I lost
Sir, please supply two of the gutta-percha flapdoodles as illustrated. I enclose a Postal Order made up with the stamps of Her Majesty to the value of 4/-
Sir, my dearest wife has taken to spanking the maids with a paddle, in my heart I feel a sorrow for the maids as my dearest wife leaves the reddest of imprints and uses paddles of the hardest timber
Sir, In this modern age I feel we have lost sight of the origins of All Hallows Eve, to whit : devil worship and punishing naked servants. Fortunately, I run a very traditional estate where traditional rituals are strictly observed.
