Sir, Lady B___ complains at length that her looking-glass be all distorted. I at once do attend to the problem. With Maid Hettie assisting, I spend 2 hours, perhaps more, diligently studying the mirror glass from all angles, but have to declare that it i
Sirs, With great anxiety I must request that you rush me an appropriate quantity of the Date Mate 1900 Pheromonotic liquid. Please understand that I request this product for scientific reasons alone. I enclose 10d postal order plus carriage.
Sir, All Hallow's Eve is a traditional time for the servants to clean the chimneys. The imps and sprites are most active at this time and they do assist. I think it is nonsense of course, but I would not want to break a long-held belief among staff. I s
Sir, In Another Place, a question was raised as to where one might see erotic depictions from the 1600's. I have spent a pleasant evening's research in my library, and can provide this pleasant painting from 1590 of a lady who has much to show us.
Sir, an enquiry. Some few weeks past, I did place an order for medicinal herbs from the Empire by packet post. Having waited the allotted "28 weeks for delivery", all I have received is this postcard which assures that delivery is imminent. Have I lost
Sir, a maid had to leave my employ most suddenly, and so I was seeking a speedy replacement. I requested some particulars from the agency, and one candidate had enclosed a photolithograph. Do you know, I think she will be just perfect for the position.
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
Sir, please supply two of the gutta-percha flapdoodles as illustrated. I enclose a Postal Order made up with the stamps of Her Majesty to the value of 4/-
Sir, The groundskeeper do ask for an assistant with some minor maintenance. I am loathe to hire extra staff,and so I send maid Gertie along. It is the 18__'s and I respect modern equality. With my training rule "make a mistake,clothing off you take",
Sir, This yule I did hold a great dinner with many guests. "The Amazing Madame Balencio" from Spain did entertain us. Lady B___ was not much favoured to this act, but I was so impressed that I invited Madame Balencio back to my chamber for a further de
Sir, Gussy Herbert do send me details of a secret Ladies-only club somewhere in Pall Mall. I find this shocking to deny the attendance of Men, especially as the activities therein do appear most fascinating.
Sir, Having caught that blaggard Greengrocer in flagrante delicto with a maid after dark, I have instigated a strict ban on visitors after 4pm. I anticipated much complaint and protestation from the staff, but there was none. Perhaps they have found othe
Sir, A tiring day admonishing servants for their wanton idleness. I retire to my library with a brandy. Lady B___ dislikes old books, which she insists serve no purpose except the gathering of dust. Yet there is so much to learn from studying the old tex
