Sir, please supply two of the gutta-percha flapdoodles as illustrated. I enclose a Postal Order made up with the stamps of Her Majesty to the value of 4/-
Sir, I have often contemplated that the fairer sex of foreign lands do so often dress in a mysterious and attractive way that is so rarely seen at home.
Sirs, With great anxiety I must request that you rush me an appropriate quantity of the Date Mate 1900 Pheromonotic liquid. Please understand that I request this product for scientific reasons alone. I enclose 10d postal order plus carriage.
Sir, Lady B___ is most pleased with our new maid, who cleans diligently and does not steal nor shirk. I too am most pleased with our new hire. On receipt of an extra shilling, she do work sans vêtements on Fridays whilst Lady B___ is away.
Sir, Gussy Herbert do send me details of a secret Ladies-only club somewhere in Pall Mall. I find this shocking to deny the attendance of Men, especially as the activities therein do appear most fascinating.
Darling Emma, I am surging along with your life blood, coursing through the secret places of your body. I wish to escape from you but I am harried from place to place in my thots. I cannot escape from the rhythmic spurt of your love juice.
Sir, I have often contemplated that the fairer sex of foreign lands do so often dress in a mysterious and attractive way that is so rarely seen at home.
Sir, In this modern age I feel we have lost sight of the origins of All Hallows Eve, to whit : devil worship and punishing naked servants. Fortunately, I run a very traditional estate where traditional rituals are strictly observed.
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
Sirs and Madames, following the great success of our club, I have instigated the renovation of the East Wing and specifically, the withdrawing room. I enclose an artist's impression as to it's decor and projected use, which I personally endorse.
Sir, All Hallow's Eve is a traditional time for the servants to clean the chimneys. The imps and sprites are most active at this time and they do assist. I think it is nonsense of course, but I would not want to break a long-held belief among staff. I s
Sir, It is no secret within our club that I do not regard Gussy Herbert of possessing great intelligence or education. However, it must be noted that the medical staff of Saint Thomas' Hospital do learn much from him whenever he returns from overseas wi